precipice

i no longer know who i am
but we shall see

this is a time of change
and i am changing fast

i am saying yes
to trying to relocate

to a city i have never been
with about $600

i am scared of being too old now
to get work right away

i am scared of not finding friends
and of running out of money of course

it has been a good rest from work
but at 3 1/2 months too long now

i am not comfortable with unemployment
no matter how sovereign i try to be

i get bored with work
but more bored without money

trapped in the endless system of debt
it is easy to lose esteem

and the subtle pot addictions all around
confound my loneliness

sad but pressing on northward
i don't know why

but it is what i have been seeing
a life beyond the crumbling city

and beyond the searing desert
where things can grow

i can always retrace here to a backyard tent
or there to a spare room in the south valley

for now let me learn to not worry
to have the experience of trying

with good energy to resettle
the next couple weeks

into a new land
community

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