better listening

I enjoy blogging: so much I like to write about--it is great to have a forum just to let it out, maybe contribute something to someone with it once in a while, maybe not be read at all...

Perhaps the best of it is that it clears my oft-pressing Italian-Aries need for self-expression. And this allows me to balance irrepressible enthusiasm with a deeper capacity to be present for others, as I am able to listen and receive with more empathy and spaciousness.

My most primary relationships--work, landlord, band--all benefit from an accessible capacity for empathy. When the landlord is stressed about a doctor's appointment, for example, I am more often than not able to let any reactivity to the stress pass. And then his needs underneath begin to come through. And then I can respond out of clear choice, offering empathy and/or support and/or a quality of honesty that allows growth and understanding to proceed. How useful is that!

I've even reinvested in relations with the band, at the point I would in the past often give up. This time, I tried offering some clear and positive requests to meet needs that had been lingering. Again, I had also listened to others' feedback in the band, which was at first hard to hear. But when I could get out of the way, let go of the tininess of hurt feelngs, and empathize some, I could hear a request for an effective quality of communication. When I finally tried this, I was heard in a good way. And this process has kindled a new sense of collaboration in the band, renewed enthusiasm for all the fun we do have making music, and for me perhaps some maturing in how I relate to others.

Thank goodness for empathy...