whassup

i had a list i really did of all the things worth writing about but i left it home and now i can't remember anything because yusif's is still closed but at least he has a scribbled note up about it now so i stand here at the unm console where if you come early in the day there is plenty of time to be online so long as you don't mind standing which i do hence the impact on my memory

i think one of the things i was going to write about was how much my energy has come back since getting angry at the kale falling out of the miniscule refrigerator as i was trying to close its door and my hand got caught somewhere in between prompting a fit of kale throwing and ever since then i've felt much more self-connected maybe because the springtime with the passing imbolc pagan holiday is now surely near and that being the time of rising energy and in oriental medicine the season of anger (as shoots must push up through the thawing earth) and in other traditions time for cleaning which i have also been doing zamboni-ing the box at work and cleaning out corners and then the kitchen at home also this morning including some remnants of kale

i put a post on craigslist again today calling for a bluegrass band cuz i just saw the old former quartet now trio is opening for the funk band i want to go dance to tonight and i thought gee if they can get gigs opening up for rocking bands and everyone else in this town can get gigs why the f*ck can't i so hopefully this is one of those moments when my anger/envy is so over the top that i actually follow through and do some such thing as form a band for the first time around what i want to do even if it isn't exactly what i want to do ultimately cuz to do something well and have at least a democratic say in the process of what we decide to play hence no murder ballads is worth doing even if i sound like some sad sack carter family old folk redo

mostly i am reflecting how life is so great these days i have money to buy the subaru i'm looking for plus i had the luxury of a hot bath and laptop usage upstairs yesterday to end the workweek with a glass of cheap tj red wine and baguette and it all feels so luxurious when you've had so little so long that there is such deep gratitude for it all including the so little so long and now i have a wonderful woman in my life and old friends to watch the super bowl with or go snowshoeing while she's away another interminable nine days