MY ART

i may not be doing much art these days
but i am remembering today what it is that makes me an artist
and it is an attitude

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i remembered this upon feeling inspired to get out and get some exercise
so i went to jump on my bike and head over to CNM here in the hood
who i hear have a swimming pool
and see what their gym offerings might be

finding the rear bike tire i recently filled again flat
i instead headed to the gas station on ther corner
walking the bike to its outrageously-priced 75-cent air machine
which turned out to be out of order

so i decided to walk over to the UNM bike shop on the far side of campus
and enjoyed seeing the college kids along central
which reminded me of both the joys and disappointments
of the college endeavor in community

yet more i felt an appreciation for being in a place
anarchistic enough that there are no judgments of weirdness or meanness
toward the sight of a 46-year old doing his thing
walking his flat bike through the hood

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upon arriving at the bike shop i was pleasantly greeted by the freindly young mechanic
whose repair agreement form indicated that i needed to be a student or staff to qualify for services
so i honestly inquired and was told an alumni card would do (where does one get one of those?)
and failing this also was informed with kind eyes and subtly-lowered voice that he would be willing to do the repair this one time in any case

i don't know if my ripped jacket or homemade wool cap were motivations for his kindness
but i sure appreciated the gesture

and while subsequently jogging (with surprising comfort!) over to CNM
i was able to reflect on how i wouldn't have been exposed to this gift of kindness
if i hadn't found and blessed (or at least not cursed) the out-of-order sign
after finding and not-cursing the flat bike tire in the first place

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it is this appreciation of the non-linearity
presented by a life lived honestly

a voluntary not-quite poverty
relatively free of collaboration with the violence
that depends on taking more than one needs

which allows these surprises and discomforts
reassurances of chance kindnesses encountered
and the fascination of an ongoing adventure
in getting one's needs met
harmoniously

that defines my art