challenges

Ask me how I'm doing and I might say, as some do, "Surviving. Barely."

I would be speaking literally of course. After overcoming some interpersonal choppiness at home, I was accosted by my bosses at work with a sit down. There, I was told about reports they have received of my negativity, and was asked for an explanation. If I had been practicing a bit more NVC lately, I might have asked for more useful information from them. Instead I hemmed and hawed as as underling like myself is supposed to do in such situations, with promises of more angelic behavior in the future.

It was only upon arriving home later, and turning on the propane heater, that I realized what was going on. Earlier in the week, I had arrived at work and could barely function due to nausea. I'd thought it might have been the knock i took on the head when a hay bale sent my head smashing into a beam recently, but it didn't quite add up. Well, anyway, the heater ran out of propane and shut off--about two months earlier than expected. This means I've been sucking a steady stream of propane the last two weeks during my sleep.

So this explains why my liver function has been compromised as of late, and I'm sure from my history that I was leakier with my frustrations at work than other people were enjoying. Perhaps the level of stress at the store will seem more manageable when I am not being systemically poisoned.

Then this weekend I missed my goat milking appointment, because I was having the worst gall bladder attack of my life. It lasted most of two days. It was very likely the goat cheese and goat milk ice cream I had eaten that put me over the edge with this condition. Hence, my enthusiasm for the goat milking is dampened. Fortunately, a friend had some kombucha which helped turn the condition around tremendously, followed by some acupuncture on myself and other measures. I am consuming only apple juice today.

That's the upshot. Nothing has come up in the garden yet. I smashed a second window pane in the cold frame though. Ate bad eggs last week that didn't help anything. Maintaining hygeine amidst full time work and life off the grid is demanding in itself. Fortunately, my hours have been unexpectedly cut. That's kind of how it is.

Not sure if I'm staying or moving on, but that's a question for another day. Working four days this week puts a road trip to water firmly in my sights.