perhaps my greatest success
was in surviving a summer of psychosis
where I learned much about lands
real and imagined
was kicked out of college
my apartment
and at least one church
tortured in an emergency room
arrested, handcuffed, and jailed
placed in two mental wards
and tied down
with five straps
to a metal cot
until I could no longer feel my hands
it was there I hallucinated
that Sensei had come to judge me
as he stood at the head of my bed
ready to snap my neck
until behind him arose
a monstrous mountain of a woman
breathing fire
stinking of creation
and insisting
I live
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