pelican

in less than a week
i have recovered a springy step
and joyful participation in community

and i notice inspiration i was not anticipating
i am feeling quite called to the ocean
23 year of mountains enough for now

so soon i may fulfill an unexpected destiny
becoming the aging california surfer dude

yet time and age are no matter
amidst the aliveness of recognizing
where our hearts find true conversations

and mine is with the sea

_________________

every ancestor and every nearby descendent
has lived on the water

and now that I have established
the stability of sustainable income
and a sane and integrated personal life

I can make such choices
follow such callings
without angst-ridden complexity

something speaks to me so clearly there
issues like expense or urban traffic
hold no sway

_________

the kicker is in beginning to feel
a nearly unfamiliar
familial sense

a drive to create nurturing spaces
blossoming from mutual respect and basic needs

for people courageous enough
to take care of themselves and one another
in a structure called a family

so many decades unexperienced
almost disorienting to stumble across
yet more so

reorienting

_________________

the only thing yet missing this week
is my mind

my intellectual curiosity and sharpness
is almost wholly absent still

I'm not sure why

mental fatigue or zen integration or
a jettisoning of maladaptive worrying

I don't know

i am used to racing across the tips of waves
like the cormorant

it may take some getting used to
barely moving a muscle
like the pelican

soaring in the coastal breeze