sweet secrets

there were achievements today

i woke feeling strong (it has been some time)
i worked a full day including cleaning the cooler
i requested a start date of May 5th in San Diego

we'll see about this whole exodus plan
i hedge a bit as i think of how chill burque can be
especially when the weather is as nice as today
__________________________

i then drove to santa fe to exchange toothbrushes
pillows and cereal boxes
by way of tote in the yard of a neutral site

we've achieved agreement
not wanting to see each other
even a minute

which doesn't mean there wasn't lots of love
just that we've each had enough of the pain that happens

when someone who needs things real loose
connects with someone who needs things real tight

i was able to leave a blessing letter as hoped
the authenticity of which
necessitated significant and helpful work this week

letting go of all the anger and stuff

it felt good to offer
and receive a kind wish also

along with my socks
___________

returned and headed out on the bike to winnings cafe
but noticed the playful scene next door
at a place catering to stoners

saw a coworker sitting in desirable patio sun
sipping amber ale in a round stemmed glass
telling cycling adventure stories

and reminding me of amsterdam
in i went

it was the first non-vegetarian non-alkaline consumption
for raven in the week since the gout attack
the beer tasted excellent

i saw my coworker's art
a ridiculously sleek old 80's Italian Bianchi
he's putting together by
tracking down original parts from all over

i then played some hack
with a surprising level of near-competence
including a couple reverse kicks

improvised keys as a shaker to jam along
with a couple very good djembe players

met a cute NMSU independent studies student
and a couple of musicians
who I gave my groovy demo
who are in a jam band

who invited me to sit in
tomorrow night for a tune

by way of the old bluegrass bass player
who told me he thought of me today
in a pertinent spiritual way

i was very touched by

______________

what fun thought i

as i coasted without pedaling
all the way on sliver from yale to ash
(and yes that crosses university)

to remember the sweetness of scene here
and rather than feeling torn

arrived at the quite obvious solution
of living in two places by way of
an evolving gypsy jam-band lifestyle

and noticed that along with family

this chill scene is anyway
the exact vibe i've been called to
in moving to ocean beach

with the subtle difference of OB
being set on the edge of
ten thousand miles

of ocean


whose mind's remembering
suddenly with soaring heart

emptied