the medicine smoked here is painful for me
in these quantities of daily use
i become dull and less capable on the surface
while my natural nervous yang emotional abundance
goes inside so I don't sleep well
-----
i even lose the prayer path
it comes around again as i intensify my focus
often with renewed gratitude and gift
but there is the moment of delay
when my head must detoxify
and the universe feels like such a lonely place
-----
may this vulnerability
open my heart
oddly closed these last months
so that it may unfurl
amidst contribution
to a community
in which it may belong
gifting this nervous energy
its work
of devotion
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