mating games

i suppose it is possible also
that transmuting the sexual drive
is the key to happiness in this life


how foolish i feel
projecting on women i meet
the image of mother
of my children

very embarrassing
indeed


yet i'm afraid it's what is done
that's how people begin that journey
to bear children

projecting maternal and paternal capacities
onto the imagined frames of others
to see if there is a fit

enough confidence, youth, money,
beauty, strength, V-shape,
70% waist-to-hip ratio

or whatever other silly markers
few are willing to admit to
even to themselves


objectification

i do find it disgusting
which may be why i've never married
and why attempting to mate

particularly at the neurotically accelerated pace
demanded by the sudden onset of signs of midlife

is proving quite unsatisfying
a process


it is near enough to promote
a tantric resurrection

as disgusting as those folks are
there may well be far more integrity there

traveling a likely never bonded path

an open and honest
player

with the courage to own projections
on short notice



or maybe
it's just time
to get the hell
out of santa fe