transitions

feels like the time of transition
has begun

I've been savoring time off in this place
as a final gift of this difficult year of service

perhaps there will be space for a solstice observance yet

amidst the arroyo ambiance

----------------------------

I'll continue to grieve a little
my love for this place

the only place in Santa Fe
I remember feeling at home

is in the sloping nooks
that make up
this soft canyon

years ago
I lived for five years here
in a trailer on blocks

belonging to a couple Okies
who shot at varmints

and made big holes
in which to throw old refrigerators

their old dog used to always follow me down the hill
looking for water to dunk her retriever-self in

and limp and fumble her way back up the hill

for what was undoubtedly
some great nights of doggie sleep

---------------------------------

I've been glad to get back here

the Okies and I put up with each other until
it ended rough but nothing unforgivable
just two idiots with tempers

been trying to avoid rough endings to things lately

paying more attention to needs
like for change

this time I was aware enough
to vibe it out

and get a place lined up
before getting myself canned

so I guess that's progress

and if there's one constant piece of wisdom
which seems to apply across situations

it is to gauge one's response to things

-------------------------------------

chicken cooks
as Cuban music plays
and another night is spent alone

I went out
but couldn't stomach the nightscene tonight
and I was hungry

and it came to me
as I couldn't decide where to go

for just then a hairy young man
cycling like an Italian or Spaniard

maybe a Brazilian

powered across lanes through traffic
reminding me what makes for masculine beauty:

whatever you do
do it with power

and so boldly
I returned home

---------------------

aren't our decisions made for the sake
consciously or otherwise
of those we have defined ourselves
to be in significant relationship with:

although I knew it was time
for both the landlord and I to move on
I did not give notice or push the conversation

because I have a more primary relationship
with the animals
bushes and wind
of the arroyo











and just when I finally got skype hooked up
in order to develop my relations with family
and was on the technology's fledgling run
and speaking to my eight year old niece

my landlord barged into my house
without invitation
with a need of his

and I was so annoyed and flummoxed
I said I'm busy
which I'm sure was his breaking point

my choice of priorities
being to his dismay
quite obviously the kids

this not coincidentally
has moved me a step closer to
potentially relocating someday
to their New York

by getting me out of Santa Fe directly

and unless God calls me back this way
again

I consider myself done here

------------------------

a couple workmates
had their last days today
before transferring across country

good men

one I got a bit close to
through our mutual horror
at the dominance of the reptilian agenda

or something like that

and really this rather absolute conviction
of the world's doom

and not some fluffy new age deal

is what brought me to Santa Fe in the first place
on January 13, 1983

to save the world
by way of practice and
application of the kototama principle
as handed down from ancient Shinto

through Sensei M. Nakazono

because even at 19
I knew the world was cooked
doomed beyond rational re-cognition

and that something radical needed to be done
beyond the standard idea of
building some kind of personal life

and having failed at Christianity


I became something of an expert
on an ancient language no one understands

the vibrational order by which
in each moment
humans create the civilizations
of their choosing

until it led to
the psychotic breakdown
of all conventional categories of thought

this commitment
was likely my primary relationship

---------------------------------

the ancient Shinto documents
call December 2011
the time of the change

and while like the native prophecies here
they do not define exactly
what we are transitioning to

it has always seemed to me
the real meaning of the end of time

was that there would no longer be
any temporal distance
between action and repercussion

and this could be hell
or heaven really

kind of like the crumbling
financial system

for which supposed historic legislation
was passed

merely to try to create new separations
between action and repercussion

--------------------------

the way of separation
as Sensei called it

for worse
or likely better

is indeed
over

and we are growing

free

a
ta
ka
ma
pa
la
na
ya
sa

wa