sweating in Burque

every day is so hot
one can hardly think

efforts to get something done
are thwarted within minutes
of walking out the door

as the brain wonders
what's the point

if it can remember
anything
at all

____


I stumbled from the Coop
to the Flying Star
so I could sit in the A/C

and sipping my iced tea
as my brain cooled

a cute female crewmember
asked me if I was athletic as a child
and a few other such things

before telling me I have interesting
knees and ankles

which with the slight bow in my legs
provided a way of walking
she enjoyed

pretty

is the word she used

______________

ignoring the odd fact
that I had apparently been completely oblivious
to a young woman joyfully observing me walk

I asked if she was a bodyworker
I hope to become a PT

and thrilled of course to receive such attention
my brain went typically completely blank

as far as expressing my enjoyment
of receiving the inquiry and appreciation
of her curious mind

even assuming she was just being friendly
couldn't I have said something like

I don't remember the last time
my legs felt so appreciated...

hey I just moved to town...

or something...

_________


but I've got no game it is obvious

without the support of some medicine
to enhance my groove

I am extremely easygoing and unassertive
in relations

which is why at various times I've gotten into
compassionate communication,
tantra practice,
polyamory,
dancing,
alcohol,
coffee,
weed

the last of which is so ubiquitous in this town
I am also wondering how inept I must be
to not procure some

while friends neighbors comrades
fellow cafe patio sitters
all partake

I jones away
watching the neon
up and down Route 66

which might as well
be flashing

chump

_____


honestly
today is actually better
in the functionality department

cravings gone
so much so I now feel averse to
being involved again with the stuff

I also need to remember this is a new town
with its own cultural boundaries to learn

and so not to beat myself up
while I calculate how much I need to
distort my natural but frustrating inwardness

and decide which pathways I will utilize
in order to get needs met here

with at least a hint of
groove