Monday, July 6, 2009

moving forward

I feel better today
14 hours of sleep

hanging out with a friend
energy's coming back

I am detaching from the workplace
and enjoying coming back to myself

I 've known the full time position
with its 47-hour weeks
and its shifting schedules
is a lot to ask

I've thought that it could be fun, lucrative
and yes even prestigious enough to compensate
for the diminishment of my personal
and music life

but


the company has asked too much
in ways I may not be fully able to explain

I cannot be someone I am not

I can only stretch myself so far
over the gaps in integrity within any organization

I can only paint myself over so far
as a company man

before I can no longer breathe


hence I will be returning to my steady 35 hour shift
detaching from offering any leadership

collect my semi-yearly raises
remain free to move around the country

slow my work pace down
so that I will no longer take on any stress
thus becoming happier, safer

and less of a bother
to any of the spies reporting on my progress
with my so-called frustration problem

and remain a freer man


the task now is to re-member
other dreams I have

other possible centers
around which to weave a life

a medicine path or spirit way
or simple skill to offer
chef or bike tech

moving forward


and let go of the false promise
of all that is money and ego
at the end of the empire

where war-profiteering banksters
continue to unravel the planet
for pocket change

and there is diminishing security
even in hawking cheap overwrapped low-ball
food to the fawning masses

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