my two scents

i read today that cajun music is actually celtic
by way of nova scotia and the maritime provinces
from which the cajuns were displaced...

how did i get through this day
of celebration and mourning

awakened at 6:30 by the airport's precision
in flying 747s directly over my house

at an altitude of about 50 feet

too much toxicity and twitching and exhaustion
to sleep any more

job is intensely challenging energetically
i'm completely exhausted
like too tired to eat
back and joints hurting

and the cultural norms out here make no sense to me
everywhere i go
people old and young alike

look at me as if to say

is there a skunk in the yard?

__________

took the boys to the flea market
had a pretty good time hanging out

the trinkety results alas
were harshly jackal-ed by their father

one of the most painful experiences
i've gone through in a long time

it was very difficult to maintain equilibrium
seeing my nephew cry and apologize to him
thinking he did something wrong

i just had to interject
you've got nothing to apologize for, boy

which clued dad into taking a less
esteem-destroying tack

bro in law then amidst massive headache
accidentally clunked one of his mom's infected legs
with a wheelchair part causing significant bleeding

it was a virtual pain parade

_______

i took the dad out

for a brief drive and walk
to the drugstore to get some paper

he seemed calmer
having even a few minutes of space from that
overcrowded apartment of needs

amidst my fatigue
it was what i could think to offer to the situation
along with continuing compassionate presence

as best i could

pass it on

________

headed home and crashed out hard
waking up at dusk

ate a quart of yogurt with various sides

put on bruce daigrepont
and fantasized about quitting and moving to new orleans

to learn cajun fiddle
and take up a longstanding challenge from the universe
to become a bandleader

felt immensely better
knowing there's a righteous role out there somewhere for me

put the mando on my back
and shamelessly walked down newport avenue

strumming and playing
amidst the neon-inflicted urban bar crowds

on the way to the beach

____________

every day an ordeal

this one ends happily
as i discover some fun new music

playing for the little fish

the ones that make it back into the ocean
after being washed up on shore

before being scarfed by tiny white birds
and excited humans

along with a quiet fire pit
with hot coal left glowing
by which to warm myself

and get out my sandy portable tape recorder
to receive the compositions

________

realize
this is only because

i am not one to rest in a comfort zone
like a groovy reggae beat that turns moldy
in the eternity of its mid-tempo groove

no

i must adventure to find hard new places
the constellations of which i could not have imagined

in order to unravel their knotted mysteries
or grateful to at least utilize them

better define my sanctuaries-
those places i commit to Life

living music
the moving water
compassionate presence

Divine Mystery Itself

and bicycles