each day i wake up committed
to make some progress
drink some coffee
scrounge something to eat
sit down at the computer
and get distracted
i'm a pretty good laborer
cause the tasks in front of me
make sense to my little mind
i like exercise and putting things in order
so i take some satisfaction in most work
and there is usually some time to dream
and some opportunity to exert some autonomy
learn something
or just grow inside
breathing into a spirit practice
but self-employment--oy!
-----
the task list:
sell car, cash ira, buy van, make cd covers and press kit and put up craigs ads, buy cable and a string and cassettes, rig up effects loop for testing, design and print brochures (& get template somewhere), print and update biz cards, compose front porch blurb, work up new website--register and design etc, brainstorm making contacts with libraries and such for education programs, meet with retail shop owner about teaching violin, pick up CD and upload (itunes and myspace) and make demos and full length saleable discs, produce graphics and get cases, and get it all done while i still have a place to do printing and such, network new gigs for regional tours, try to find a collaborator to tour with, contact yurtfolk, get to dances, play viola at contact, attend circus collaboration night, research touring tips--how much money to have, strategies for cheapness (eat at churches etc), decide whether to apply at the coop or stay committed to attempt traveling, garage sale, go through old journals--save 1 lb and discard 99 lbs of paper in goodbye OB bonfire, consider rainbow gathering for a few weeks, overcome concern over trying to not get arrested amidst my groovy new van lifestyle (become a better mechanic, put a biz logo on the side of the van) and learn how to stay healthy (rig up some wheatgrass growing corner, etc.), play once in a while, listen to music once in a while, record in studio with trio on wednesday, discuss hats, request help with promo photography...
and on and on it goes, until i either get exhausted from endless inventory and take a nap, or else come across something i actually might enjoy doing, like maybe photography today or pick up the cd
all while staying in touch with bigger picture spirit transformation work, and other core values which are the whole inspiration for the project
and keeping fed and staying connected to community, see if Bubba got to the hospital for dialysis, check in with Donna, hopefully pick sage this week
and remember to consider juicy stuff like: maybe sell my fiddle and buy a more resonant one, consider travelling to a foreign country and indulging in learning the local fiddle music--most traditional cultures have a place for a fiddler, i suspect it would use up much to all of the rest of my cash but could be a very deepening/focusing experience musically (thus economically useful) and personally (could use some new cultural input)
-----
i really will be testing the nuevo-NVC approach
which argues that order is a strategy not a need
cause it feels like a disorientingly big unmet need
these days
but if it's just a strategy then i can find other ways
to meet the underlying need
which would be...?
probably support
and associated flow
which is related to trusting Life
and my own generativity
in the global community of humans
many of whom are more frightened
or have more desperate circumstances
than mine
and with whom i stand in solidarity
as a traveling musician needing little
while meeting needs for joyful celebration
beauty-reminder acoustic-love trance-dance
gratitude-education and giveaway-mentorship
plus occasional gardener-laborer
traveling permaculturalist play
and whatever the heck else i can offer
to the tasks at hand
as we climb the ridiculous learning curve
of bootstrapping life-support systems
in the post-economic world of barter
potlatch and giveaway
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