wasteland

i'm not quite autistic

but it is true

i do have trouble bonding with people

i know it is my own shortcoming

yet i think this has long been exacerbated

by living in the desert

where thirst

is never quenched

-----

or is my alienation due to

the prospect of never find meaningful work

amidst an empire

filled with hypocritical violence

and economic injustice

for while the yogic path offers

some promise of integration

and even service

most of my pursuits the last ten years

across this vast continental nation

have been in search of bonding

and fruitless

-----

or is it that when i rest enough

from grinding labor

to find the energies

with which i may participate with

and enjoy others

i must by the design of banking overlords

run out of the money

by which to maintain a semblance of balance

and protection

-----

there is no water here

to dissolve these matters

into solution

what little there was

vanished in the early years

of the 21st century

and with every failure

to connect with others

emotionally intellectually

romantically personally

spiritually philosophically

or ancestrally

a part of me dies

all over again

-----

it is the part that would

ever again

choose to live here

in this barren

wasteland