ancestral gestalts

when you said there are no victims
because nothing outside of us can affect our well being without our choice and participation

my mind shot in several directions simultaneously

i felt the blistering hot wind of nagasaki blow through the room
saw a homeless man shaking behind a dumpster
heard muffled screams from a small dark cell in iraq

and wondered about the millions of souls murdered for their jewishness

___________________

since i had already disrupted the first hour of your class
i allowed you your platform

and realizing you were railing in your way
against the violence rooted in projection

i saw my german ancestors who in their arrogant sensitivity
excluded those who spoke as plainly as you do
until their projections could justify your extermination

and i realized how it is your karma as well as mine
to not let that happen again

____________________

and when you said there are no have-to's
because to meet our needs we don't need anyone out there to give us anything

i wondered if you'd ever competed for a job
reckoning with the stresses of bosses and customers
in order to afford a place to live:

do you understand the conflicts people face

since barring unusual arrangements
we do need to convince someone to give us money
in order to live safely and with some peace

_________________

yet in my silence
my mind spiraled to my father's misery
imposed on our family

so deeply based in have-to thinking
rigid strategies with no room for choices

and how 500 years of poverty
for my ancestors the people of southern italy
was bound up in this issue

and i saw a new opportunity
for living more freely


if only i could agree with you