Sunday, May 29, 2011

functionally illegitimate

i enjoyed listening to urban contamporary music today
the discomfort of others, comments and complaints
tinged with the usual middle class racism

i like things out of the closet
and i would like to announce

i am not gay

-----

the thing is i don't actually consider myself
straight in any way

it implies something too linear for me
to relate to

anyway the penicillin is helping the tooth battle
although there are still waves of pain
and moments of acute illness

worked a full day then painted four hours solid
now i have a couple days off to detox

but i wonder who i am

-----

it was only a four day work week

but i have immense swings in energy
sleep 16 hours

or two

i am ready for the land
i have overwhelming moments during the day

my god what am i doing
i need to be outside on the Earth

yet i commit to a 3 month apartment
try one last push to get the health together

and a little savings

but like the rest of civilization
the last several thousand years

as symbolized by the cross

it was a sacrifice

-----

i still don't know why

it's not my paradigm
donation is

benefits
giving

potlatch: the organizing principle of an evolving civilized society
which was squashed by rather deluded europeans

empirical means both to understand things scientifically
and related to conquest and control


without seeking advantage
in some shapeshifting currency

we immediately connect to life when offered the opportunity
and when we remember the imperative to

contribute to life

there is no inflationary value
hence time is restored to its order


2 comments:

  1. I can relate to the feeling of needing to be close to the earth. For another season, I escaped Santa Fe, to live in a run-down house, where big blackberry bushes push their way into my open bedroom window. Sprites and fairies dance over my head while I sleep.

    Whatever you do while in the city, plant something! Even if you have to do some guerrilla gardening, plant something! Drop seeds into an empty lot, or in the cracks of a sidewalk. Help a friend lay down a row. Just plant something.

    You will feel better. The earth will absorb some of your pain. The Mother is calling and the seeds are waiting.

    Plant something.

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  2. Yes many of us are feeling that call to garden this year. I did dig and plant a garden bed in a neighbor's yard. In fact, I have planted twice now, and still no sprouts--yet. Thank you for your words, I like hearing of bushes and fairies!

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