funk dive

i don't know what is more off the hinge

hearing the awesomist funk band alidocious
in the divest bar in war zone burque

where leather abounds
and shorts like mine apparently break tabu

gay guys put their drink down next to ya
and introduce themselves with an unmistakeably warm shoulder rub

black and spanish gals wander by to try an occasional dance

an edgy guy offers to show you the silver bracelets he has for sale

and a spanish local and a greying wiry white biker
almost come to blows over pool etiquette

all while the band rips through one cooking funk tune
after another

under red spotlights
with mulitcolored neon coors signs behind

nothing like the burq

yes I danced a couple tunes

in fine fashion
and twitched the rest

yes three beers and a CD

yep I'm the violinist

clumsy enough to almost knock over the mike
handing off a CD mix at the second break

___________

it could be
my over-the-top insane
infatuation with the bass player

god is she gorgeous

those crazy bulging eyes
longest curly hair in town
pale stress-lined skin

she hugs everyone sweetly during the break
and plays barefoot all night

i was already in deep
from our goofy little rehearsals

but watching her hold down
the bottom to the six-piece funk all night long

and sharing an occasional smile amidst the groove
och

i tried praying around 1 am
went with the voice telling me to go
albeit hesitatingly

______________

i told myself early on
she's gotta be hooked up with someone in the band
or in some long term relationship with another woman

but it's possible she's a tantra gal
cuz she's got an interesting energy
some pagan magic or something

unpretentious and wide open but hard to read
enthused and strong and just a bit apart

i've had it with insecure impotent monogamy
back to a more honest strategy to maintain presence
amidst the insanity of interpersonal reality

'cuz being this crazy for someone
ain't good

no matter how uniquely cool

even with those long fingers
expressing so much

and that loose
black shirt

________

but what is most whacked
is the descent into the hell

of being so locked in
to a particular rhythmic feel

and so corded up
that there is soul loss

this must be ecstasy
as defined by the greeks
dionysian and distinct from bliss

i'll duck tape things together again this week
with a caffeinated 5 am smile
so you can't see

all these unmet needs

loneliness
strategic dependencies
esteem crushing sleeplessness

and complete lack of space
for personal significance

consuming all the joy there is