nvc and me

an as-yet unsent letter to the board of directors of new mexico nonviolent communication:

i'm feeling a bit conflicted about how to be honest that i haven't fully recovered from the two recent monday practice groups which i found cumulatively so horrible that i am pretty sure i will never go back

it causes me an alienating confusion that others seem to enjoy meetings like the last one, at which i was glad i had a headache, as an excuse to cut short what was about as enjoyable as a prolonged dental visit, to use one of the founder's phrases for clarity

it depresses me that this is what nvc has become, for what i observed was a bunch of people sharing an experience well within the comfort zone of their middle aged heads, discussing their opinions on others' opinions of the world according to a workbook by one of the founder's acolytes, where you find the right answers to rather obvious questions in the text of the chapter

with, whoa, an occasional personal experience shared of something that happened way back when that confirms this nvc viewpoint

with no feelings, needs, or aliveness expressed

i might as well go visit with the unitarians

how outrageous, yet not surprising, for nvc to finally arrive at the destination it has been slipping toward for years, a cozy little cult where the structure actually discourages the autonomy of disagreeing with, or even questioning, the founder's presuppositions, in exchange for some reassurance that we are somehow growing through our courageous participation in such a delusion

and if marshall was there i would hope he would be as incredulous as me, maybe so maybe not, maybe i'll just invite him, since he does supposedly live here

it is probably good that this has come up before i officially join the board, because i don't want to be the crusader to try to change nvc into something it is no longer, nor do i wish my participation to be based in opposition

i guess this generally happens as movements get away from the founders, with their capacity to continually reset the contexts of experience with their own automation-busting endeavors in autonomy, and instead become new automation-supporting dogmas

seems disciples act out the unresolved ego shadows of their gurus

please remind me of the address of the next board meeting, and i will attempt to find the motivation to attend, maybe you can remind me why i would bother