eat seaweed

half an hour to get on the train if i'm gonna make it to santa fe as planned, yet i just poured myself another cup of mate from a fresh pot, so things are tipping toward staying down in the concrete wasteland

the van is losing its gears and the steering is feeling even more loose than ever, so i called about a dodge van i saw on the street yesterday even bigger than the econoline, still gets 12 mpg, so would still cost 700 bucks to get to sd and back, i really need another old toyota like i had which would cut the cost to $250 or so

japanese reactors blowing up can't be good, hopefully it's not plutonium dispersing into the atmosphere because we are downwind folks, so i for one am eating more seaweed, which helped people survive hiroshima

i've had to keep a bit of distance around that tragedy, having been personally so immersed in Japanese ways for so long, chanting a form of the Japanese alphabet the last 29 years believe it or not, thank you Sensei for teaching me about these times at the end of the scientific material civilization

now hundreds of thousands of people missing and dead, plus the complete and utter destruction of the illusion of our safe modern lives

i haven't taken too seriously the specific calender predictions around 2012, because it is all speculative, but i think in general people are on the right track with it

i had read that march 9 one guy calculated as the beginning of the final quickening to the coming transformation, and with the advent of earthquakes of new magnitudes-tsunamis-nuclear catastrophes the following day, that prediction looks to have been very prescient

so much suffering and sadness, and looking a lot like the edgar cayce visions we've heard about for many years, with the Japanese coastline moving 8 feet and such

seems we are paying the price for our human arrogance in believing we can design a material civilization without conversing with the Earth, nuclear energy being one of the pinnacles of our arrogance, we begin to see how quickly the entire civilization could be wiped out

so there's not much to do anymore but pray and meditate and plant a garden, ego pursuits suddenly seem as meaningless as we have glimpsed them to be for some time, like going back to school so i can have a "career", and the spirit practices that seemed so abstract are suddenly becoming extremely useful and practical, strange times likely to get much stranger

i know it is time i begin teaching kototama

just started an online empathy conversation, so no train today, just want to create more gentle spaces to be human together--chanting, empathy groups, musicmaking without pressure to be novel or great, informal barter, ritual spaces like the upcoming equinox gathering, gardens, ecstatic dance, a beer on a patio, and so many more

i've also had an epiphany about being vegetarian again all of a sudden, last night over carne asada, hard to describe but i just don't ever need to eat flesh again--the waste, the grossness, the bacteria, the suffering, all of it and more in one very obvious moment

somehow connected to the catastrophe in Japan waking us all up to our real situation on this planet