stoner dude loses phone

well i may not ever get to writing the great novel

but at least i can have the dumbest blog title

it is accurate to the caricature i've become of myself

in recent days

i look something like beethoven

all grey hair and lines

but not as cool

more bozo the clown

fortunately i live in albuquerque

where today i saw a mohawk

gelled out to a sharklike point

some couple inches beyond the forehead

i may not be that creative

but my burque ugliness is at least

approaching the median

-----

i've developed a codependent relationship

with my phone

i was waiting around godot-like

for texts from you know who

so i just quit checking the thing

to try to ween myself

and after a few hours

i went to try the phone

and it was gone

seemingly hijacked to another dimension

along with the vanished bike lock

and the strangely awol fiddle pickup

of the past week

-----

i thought maybe i should look around outside

so i went to look for a flashlight

couldn't find one

but then i remembered where i had a flashlight

on my phone