pay the cost

my vibration is very low today
i don't know exactly why

i think it has to do with too much time spent
in artificial environments

hard floors hurt my feet
skin not enjoying fluorescent lights
not enough touch
too much lifting

and the seeming presence of a bubble
over the entire operation screaming

you don't really exist

i know
don't tell me

it seems like such a nice place to work
yes it does

-----

everything i understand now is beyond words
i've tried for a week to talk to anyone
friend or stranger

about something significant
but its just stuff your face
and get moving now

in america

i visited a place eons ago
or was it a week

where pretty 3 BR houses
in nice small town neighborhoods
with spiritual community and land available

for 50K

the economic crash may bring things down
to my level soon

i'd pay 10K for a house
and have people over a lot

nvc group, men's group, zen group, freeform jam group

see how much time i waste in fantasy

-----

when mortality comes
nothing else matters

but real things like healing trauma

stepping into bliss now with this one moment
we have left

loving
finding out the true nature of things

conversing with trees
plants and the earth

i am close to despair
but i know the best times come

when it flips
it flips for good