sacred medicine

I am strangely reassured by an armadillo statue. It sits just outside the front door of a friend's place from which I am writing. It meets up with a strange sort of spiritual commitment I have long ago made.

Here I am now with three sore lymph nodes in my groin, about two inches proximal to a bug bite, that a reasonable guess would take to be a flea's. This itchy spot came on about the time I was traveling through Oklahoma some two weeks ago. It was where I encountered an armadillo.

It was 95 degrees or so, and staring at the top of the tent and sweating for two hours had gotten me approximately zero percent closer to sleep. Suddenly I heard a crashing sound. And knowing that I was the only camper in the entire lakeside park meant only one thing: I had left my car window open and the armadillo who had crunched her way out of the nearby foliage to introduce himself to me earlier was in my car, eating my food.

I was relieved at the tension this broke in my general suffering of the elements. I whacked tent poles on the ground as I move toward the car, and by the time I reached it, there was no one around, just an open window. And oats and cornflakes and odiously malty protein powder strewed throughout the passenger compartment.

I threw the tent and bag in the car and got a motel for a decent seven hours sleep. That was two weeks ago. The only questions that remain is: did s/he leave me a flea, and is it bubonically infectious. I respond to this by focusing on vibrating at a different frequency than that at which the trauma was created.

Maybe I'm like the idiotic fundamentalists who don't take kids with severe illnesses to get medical help. Or else I could be some energetic master who manifests dis-eases in order to overcome them. A paranoid hypochondriac. The common thread with all the interpretations of self is that I am committed.

Or soon will be.

What I am committed to has been known in many ways, often wordless. Zen, Tao, Tai Chi, God, Divinity, the Beloved, Source, Creator, Christ Consciousness, Holy Spirit. The experience is one of faith that comes from abiding within exactly that which is. From fully realizing this moment now. The yoga of tension--between the external demands of the world and the truth of that which persists--which calls forth my proactive becoming. In my proactive response, I choose to vibrate gratitude...or tune into beauty...love unconditionally...

Or one or more of the other myriad healing vibrational structures known as "needs" in the nonviolent communication model. Divine resource is a better description, the source of all abundance. Visually to me it is a field of diamond-like facets with emptiness at its core. Perhaps this is the 6th chakra aspect, at least, of that which is.

Love matters. And in this case, it is loving that armadillo, even if it means I am finished. Receiving the medicine, I realize I have done this before.