internal travel preparations

I drank coffee today.

It was the first day I've done so in over a month. We'll see how the digestion likes it. For now, I can say it has been a very pleasant journey. I awoke very sluggish, and with much to do today, so I indulged in the caffeine medicine. It is a lot like other medicinal reminders I've used, as it increases my sense of well-being and functionality in the immediate term. This is likely because of its influence on the inner dopamine/motivational system. It thus gives me a reference point of where I wish to be energetically in the future without such medicines, through deep self-nurturance and yogic disciplines to call forth the chi.

I particularly like feeling this morning of an increased social capacity with diminished self-consciousness, and an increase in decision-making capacity with less obsessive worry. These are particularly important today, as I prepare to travel to Nicaragua for 2 1/2 months on Tuesday. There is still much to square away between now and then!

The other related effect I notice from the coffee is more existential. It's a general increase in acceptance, even celebration, of what Life is offering me in this moment.

For example, I notice today there is a preponderance of what my friends call chemtrails in the sky over Albuquerque, which have by this time all but obliterated the sun in a cloud-like haze. Do you think this phenomenon is due to a secret and massive shadow government operation? Or is it just what others call "persistent spreading contrails", an innocuous combined effect of increased air traffic and certain atmospheric conditions?

In a normal (overworked) slightly fatigued state of mind, I can only see an either/or scenario around this. With the slightly increased leverage of caffeine (or ideally simply consistently strong chi-flow), I can enjoy a different relation to my environment. I realize that in a sense I have only this moment to live, and this moment of Life is a gift from some divine Source. My sense of self is akin to an actor in a play, experiencing without interpretation a slice of potentially-toxic, postmodern urban life. In this, there is tremendous wonder in the not-knowing, in walking down the street amidst this moment's dharma, with gratitude replacing fear.

I am thus clear I can't control the condition of the skies, and even if they are some sinister and toxic plot against humanity, I will carry on as best I can with what I can control. I will use this experience to inform my choices of how to best support future generations of humanity to have a living ecology in which to live. I will continue to learn about permaculture and its promise in rebuilding living systems of human/Earth cooperation. Within the shell of the old paradigm, I will humbly build some compost for the new.

And next week, I will travel abroad, as I have long sought, to gather information on the actual conditions much of the world lives in. What do people need most, and what can I offer? Where is the maximum leverage in supporting others' well-being? Is it in empathy or soil-building? Houses or barefoot medicine? Education in yogic energetics or vegetable-rich nutrition?

Maybe it's more about just focusing on self-care so that I am not a further burden to others? Simply getting out of my head, enjoying others' humanity, and seeing what arises? Perhaps a fiddle tune, then?

In walking down roads down there, I will offer what service I can to those I get to know along the way.