awaiting renewal

long island is not the strangest place in the world
that distinction would belong to...hmm...
maybe this is the strangest place in the world

I don't know what makes it so
confusing

birds don't matter here
they are ornaments on rooftops
insignificant and far away

the coffee and alcohol routine
rules here like most urban places
the manual carburetor adjustments
to one's day

natural living, gentleness, temperance
are strictly for losers

so be large and loud and funny
know the score
have plastic handy

have something to say at all times
remotely relevant for any situation
and racist humor is welcome
___________________

in other developments
all the books and most of the trinkets I've brought
are useless here

there will be no videos, decorating
or homecooked meals
for rehab in the hospital continues

and as suspected
the conversations are so out of sync
with my internal dialog
there is nothing I can think of saying
that would have any meaning whatsoever

I'm thinking to just string together
some random words

with appropriate syntax
volume and an N-bomb thrown in

and see if this won't get me
immediate acceptance into the club

________________________

ego matters here
to say the least

it's not bad medicine for me actually
this demand for self-assertion
in every moment

I just can't quite get at
why I feel suddenly so insane

the clearest glimmer I've had
is that of a great field

wafting through the massive overhead powerlines
radiating outward from finely trimmed lawns

in every car angling into the next lane's traffic
on all the local TV stations and in every paper

in the bars and restaurants
even the accents of the people here
and it says:

JUDGE

for without judgment
you too will be a loser

and I deal with it the same way I always have

I remain quiet in my bafflement
devour bowls of cereal
and wait