medicine

as I prepare
for a rare journey
to the place that was home

I am surprised to find my medicine
suddenly clearer and stronger
than ever before

I couldn't care less
if others wish to judge

my crystals, Indian fetishes
shamanic four-direction jewelry
_______________________

how boldly the coyotes sing as I write
a brown bird chirps at my doorstep

amidst this beauty
I see the writing on the wall
that I will leave this special place
in the coming months

and this makes me sad
for here I can chant
loudly in the wee hours

here I can grow stronger
watch the ravens
save money

learn the humble lessons
of serving an old man in need
and work through the family karma
_________________________

but like all things
this moment will die
into the next

and while the amplified savoring
of this recognition
is more than just compensation

I am also learning to trust my own actions

including those which are leading me forth
into a seemingly more mundane world

and where else would
a garbage-picking blackbird

satisfy such a ravenous appetite

for magic?
_____________________

I will bring meditations to read
to my ailing sister

Victor Frankl, Ram Dass
Stephen Levine
and Thich Nhat Hanh

I'll even show her the chants I know
if she would like

and practice silent empathy
when there are no openings to talk

but mostly I'll be cooking lasagne
meatballs, maybe even slumgullion

I'll decorate her friend's house
with leftover Beltane ribbons
for her return home from the hospital

and bring Laurel and Hardy videos
to watch over and over