NM trip photos

It was a great trip to New Mexico, filled with rich connections, leaving me with a full heart and gratitude I cannot begin to express.

I'm not the world's best photographer--almost always reticent to interrupt moments I'm enjoying with others to stop to photograph them. I suppose there was the time I lost the camera in the couch too...

I hope you enjoy the assortment of random photos I did manage to take!

Santa Fe:

groovy public transportation between Albuquerque and Santa Fe:

$8 round trip

Santa Fe River downtown

a plant at Alex's I knocked over shortly after taking this bad photo:

must have been the music being too loud, yeah that's it...

dog in the rain:

humans too busy listening to Heijira on vinyl

next stop Eldorado,

by way of Alex in the work truck

Evan and Sam's gymnastics

Jill's joyful greeting, in the midst of

preparing amazing homemade enchiladas

a devastating loss in Boggle,

scoring a mere three points and finishing last

Albuquerque:

back down the big hill, a typical Albuquerque juxtaposition:

dramatic sunrise over a Route 66 dive bar with sign for 50-cent tacos

funky Nob Hill neighborhood

Chinese musicians at Globalquerque

sunflowers in the neighbor's yard

gracious hostess for the week,

and musical co-conspirator, Mollie

neighbors Anna and Talis amidst morning routine

Tali already pulling some very good tone out of his new cello

the front porch: site of another great music jam, whose highlights included a mother & son Latvian duet premiere, and Cliff's song from West Virginia about a paperboy

Rambo

Josie Rose

leaning

should have a few good photos of NM
to upload when i get back
a random assortment of moments
i remembered i had a camera

a couple of more flowing days
not sure how tonight will work
trying to offer a meatball dinner
since my hosts have been so giving

but Cliff's got a bug
so it's all dubious
and thus maybe we'll just enter
another phase of misfitted time and needs

-----

grateful for a day of music and healing
new contacts and useful information channeled
resonating exactly with my own dawning:
abiding in the heart

at which point i realized
there is no future in joyless repetition
no matter what the promises
of my current job

my old burque job and home appear available
plus new music and service opportunities
reassuring amidst the cheap and sunny
sky town

-----

yet i am inkling an adventure
a couple months to give my hands
space to express more than cans
see if i can get a new raft afloat

amidst cheaper shelter
music gigs and dance events
even some quiet healing work
teach tutor garden empathy services

hence i am dangling my feet
into the cold bracing wetness
of this swift-flowing river

leaning

spontaneous encounters

my feet ached this morning

after walking miles home from globalquerque music fest
all my rides having left without me

after running into my favorite dance partner
and banging around for hours through the evening

after a miles-long nob hill walk to the coop
down lovely silver avenue

and hanging out there a while
with a heroin addict

-----

that's part of one day back in NM
for a visit

not sure how to weigh the amazing connections
and surprising disconnections

all piling up together
with barely a tune played

seems to me the angst level is higher here
than when i left

could just be a busy week for folks
but hell: no equinox party

and with a full moon to boot?

-----

a voice says: c'mon new mexico
you're better than this

but deeper down i am guessing
people are scrambling

with no time to waste anymore
on music gatherings and pagan celebrations

those of us living near the edge
are starting to get the hang of swimming

in this new post-capital economy

but for my liberal middle-class friends
there is but trepidation

as they approach the vortex
we already have learned to welcome

new paradigm or bust

-----

today it looks like
i will miss another ride connection

and so borrow a bike
to travel long into the south valley

fiddle strapped to my back
for a friend's family-birthday gathering

and then over to globalquerque
night two

where at least i will have
a bike to get home with

-----

the best part
is the upside-down meaning to everything

buying a smoothie for a smackheaded brother
provides the best conversation of the day

you should see how much people give
when you say: spare change for some dope?
$25 in half an hour--usually that'd take all day
maybe they thought you meant pot--could be
or maybe they just enjoyed the joyful directness
of your clear request

i wanna quit for my daughter
y'know about suboxone?
yeah that worked for me once
but then i came back to abq
miles had to lock himself away for a week
no kidding

anything to eat today
priorities first--it's for maintenance y'know
can i buy you a juice?

-----

likewise

unexpectedly walking miles home at midnight
provides the grist for today's best insight:

i play a rather random character
in the lives of my friends and acquaintances

continually jumping out of boxes
the not-quite artist

sometimes borderline homeless
empathic fuck-up

i annoy people with my dependency
and independence both

-----

yet like so many anarchists i know
what i am doing

is offering people a wake-up
inviting them

into a world of symbiosis

into the actuality of our collective human condition
the poverty of apparent wealth

its meaninglessness and fear
isolation and stress

and the truer wealth of magic
within the interdependence of apparent poverty

wherein however awkwardly
some of us have chosen the path of nonviolence

including a steady movement
beyond enslaving monetary structures

into attendance to basic needs
food bonding chi safety meaning

perhaps particularly out-of-doors

into the beauty and abundance
the reminders of gratitude inherent in such

spontaneous encounters

manifesting abundance now

starting to get psyched for the nm trip

albeit a bit belatedly

too much going on with wrist sprains

and exerting myself to try and transfrom

the work unpleasantness

i keep thinking i'm turning a corner there

and then i find...

another corner

hence the old paradigm

is looking more and more like

a box

-----

i've gotten over the phone fear

and just started calling people

and those friendly connections get me excited

about returning to nm for a week

it is a relational world after all

one friend talks about a loose work arrangement

that sounds more like barter

another about the corn we planted in the spring

another about some old 45s he's put on disc for me

because he knows i will pass on the music

and all of this gets my aura quite sparkly

because rather than the too-familiar

wage-slave grinding

it's all about real trades

of juicy living stuff

between human

beings

-----

these bruised and strained hands tell me

my current wage-time deal

holds a risk

i have healed them so many times

that i believe in more miracles yet

to regenerate a music-making capacity

what i realize now is:

i also want to listen to them

to take a stand to honor these hands

that seek to offer healing and music

and to work with the Earth

before too much more of this precious life runs by

-----

i have long striven

for a rational transition

save up enough

have this or that credential or set-up

just another couple years...

my hands are saying:

now's the time

and so:

as i long ago went all-in

on the paradigm-shifting premise

for this life

now it is time for the same commitment

to my own blissful participation

within it

abundant words from planet OB

well hello again
from planet OB

the end of the road
surrounded by military bases
a bay
and a thousand miles of ocean

i jumped in the water again today
with legit shorts on

I wanted to run
in shallow water
up to my knees

you P90X guys should try it

and then I just had to
dive under a couple of
58 degree
waves

-----

I am watching events unfold
as they may

I had given up actually
on ever deciphering the Kototama principles

and lo
what'dya know
here comes the paradigm shift

strange miracles
synchronicities shimmering through
right on time

a floating rainbow bridge
between heaven and Earth

these chakras
all manifesting, lighting up, turning on

-----

such divine wisdom
these ancient human technologies

magnetism

which Ken says built the pyramids
which makes perfect sense

along with each of us bringing
our individual medicine

often hard-won
through facing suffering directly

and the concomitant
commitment

to the alleviation found in essential
nonviolence

-----

gratitude practice
love
awareness

abundance

the pineal gland
connecting to the heart
connecting to the voice

joy-love-gratitude
acceptance
empathy

compassionate leadership

the effort that is in balance
driven by our undeniable collective
Earth-sufferings

to heal into wholeness

bringing of all things
the I (eee) dimension:

the smile
parasympathetically speaking

or according to the sympathetic nervous system
and its more active aspect

grit

-----

these words
remind me to practice
some essential attention
to quality of thinking
and speaking
and heart

when the eee manifests directly
it may come forth as eeeyayeee

yay!

joy-love-gratitude
thyroid-thymus-thyroid
speaking-heart-hearing

and so I hear
the wavelength of most-abundant life
H2O

what do you think?

-----

today I spoke with a mentor
a fellow journeyor

whose visceral knowledge
and commitment to shifting things
matches my own

he inspires me
in his fullness of delving into his calling

fired by suffering
facing death directly

he knows exactly what he is doing

and clearly
amidst all this ego
and these ongoing clumsy fuckups

so too I am coming into
this elder wisdom time

fruit-bearing fruition
cobs bearing seed

-----

I saw a butterfly today
one of the yellow ones

with the pointy up-triangle
brown-tipped wings

maybe a monarch?
it was the first one I've seen

I am amazed at how
butterflies abound here

unfolding these contraptions:
ones the worm was sure s/he

would never be found in

trying to remember

dreamed i was sitting with a nonspecific trusted female friend

in that comfortable/poetic/platonic way

that sadly has mostly been lost since high school

we were overlooking a landscape of trees

that had attributes of both Long Island

where I lived 19 years

and New Mexico where I lived 25

we were sharing empathic conversation and listening

and I said yeah that's why I stay alive

but I can't remember anything else that was said

-----

amidst the shocking level of spiritual and physical misery

accompanying the return to work

after such a difficult family trip

is it the hope for and belief in paradigm shifting work

that is giving my life and even this shitty job

some meaning?

is it the connection to a larger vision

of a vibrant verdant world?

is it the youthful family members

reminding me of a future

joyfully arriving?

or is it this tentative

easily-distracted heart's

rusty practice of

empathy itself?

-----

the pineal gland

supports tremendous learning

awareness and reconnection to Spirit

yet which chakra makes decisions?

without an open heart

I am arrogant and self-centered

still

and likely less convincing

amidst such alienation

I can only admire those who can love

those yet capable of bonding

like those who care more about 3000 personal lives

lost nine years ago

than the vast karma

of deception and suffering

foisted upon the world

by demented cowards

like Dick Cheney

who got away with it

NoCal travel pics

I stayed at this groovy hostel in Sacramento

definitely a historic building, with rooms like this

and here's the ceiling above the stairs!

fun jammin with Adam from Melbourne on the porch

then on to Oroville, where I found a cheap old violin bow--but good and sturdy--at the local music shop, and another shared tune with the shopowner

headed twice to the nearby forebay for plunks in chilly Labor Day waters

looking up into the foliage near the bay

boats on Lake Oroville

camera battery went at the family gathering, but at least I got one shot: my niece Abby and my Mom

bliss meal night

blogs may come more rapidly for a bit

lots of things shakin

i wrote my aging dad the most honest letter I could

about things I want to really talk about

while moments remain abundant

two weeks off to heal the mildest of wrist sprains

has offered a good taste of early retirement

or pretiree-training as martin says

i'm considering how an RV appearance

kind of gets you accepted in legit circles

but I'm thinking maybe best of all is

a fifth wheel camper on a truck

or an airstream

semi legit

-----

mostly i am savoring a lovely communal dinner

i just shared

where several people pitched in vegetables

and curry and coconut milk

someone even brought some meat

which went right in my curry soup bowl

a blissful juicy medium-rare protein chunk

underneath all those veggies

some basil someone found in the yard

and the first yellow squash i picked

someone even brought good wine

and mentored the group in the art of toasting

very much related to the affirmations

Dr. Omoto demonstrates putting into water

generating vibrant crystalline structures

pulsing with life energy and health

we then laughed to spaceballs the movie

projected from a laptop

onto the side of a garage

around which we sat

sharing the most delicious meal

as at rest i digest

these lessons of abundance

it belonged to that field of meals

that exists beyond right and wrong

and I've met you there

-----

it was such a pleasant evening

that after the indescribable moment

diving into the cold ocean in pants

with the maximum freedom

of diving deep and fully under a big wave

and giving myself up to the ocean

for that two-to-three second interval

where immersed carried interacting trusting

i was enveloped

i not only biked home to shower

but then rode the bike over to

the new friends' for dinner

with the viola in my left arm

wearing the sarong

and the aikido pants I use for dancing

along with the back pack full of veggies

bottle of wine

chocolate

and I thought

it's a good day to die

one cuff tangled in the gears

it'd be sure to make the papers

viola, wine and assorted vegetables

strewn in chaos around the street

an organic chocolate bar

and some smushed kiwis

a truly neutral observer

might notice the blissful theme

conclude

someone was living in the fullness of a moment

and hopefully looking at my amused dead face

laugh himself into enlightenment

and in the parade

amidst the beads and flashing

people could wear little twisted bike necklaces

with a push button gizmo revealing a heavily accented

may the schwarz be with you

beginnings

well there's been some suffering

but ultimately useful

receiving empathy upon returning

i realized more fully

that i can no longer compromise

so much for my comfort

comfort leads nowhere anyway really

also seen clearly

it is not my lot to move to chico

to that request i say no

but not without gratitude

for the opportunity

-----

i've been afraid of sounding crazy

there is just less and less time

to wait for the appropriate contexts to arise

in order to say what needs to be said

i have thus been playing small

and that is not what the world needs

and it has been becoming less fun

and more injurious to me

to be waking that high rope

tight-wire

in this way i have definitively learned

why i left new mexico also

i could not complete my work there

and the work is first to unfold myself fully

and that means all chakras

with all their blessings

and in doing so speak the truth more

teach what the new paradigm is

for it is unfolding before our very

beings

-----

it is this pineal gland precisely

that i became aware was not fully turned on in me

it is stressed by high altitude, radiation, and poor sleep rhythm

and i was aware of this particularly in summer in santa fe

my need to get to sea level sea

was true as true can be

and now i am waking up these upper chakras

turning on and getting clear

on the curriculum

with the help of friends and teachers

brothers and sisters

and prayer

prayer works at the crown

God is no disembodied eye

but right here when yours meet mine

the voice needs to speak

and the clarity is coming through stronger than ever:

express gratitude and beauty in thoughts and words

vibrate joy, which is a very active energy

and the paradox is that

higher energy wavelengths

do not exhaust themselves

they sustain and nurture

the light in others

-----

this is why i could no longer play murder ballads

with my last two bands

and it is why i left the controlling old paradigm

of my last intimate relationship

and why i keep hearing:

permaculture

empathy

prayer

pineal glands

thought vibrations

water

with the Earth calling so loudly

what else can possibly make sense

to a child

-----

i imagine singing songs of affirmation

in a touring van

with friends near and far

amidst the global groove network

djs and fiddles

accordians and djembes

time for didjeridu

and mbira too

while pitching in along the way

with whatever is going on

a harvest or a planting

a barn raising

or ritual fire

i've tended fires before

and it suits me well

and just to talk about these things

and maybe most directly

to sponsor friends to share this space

that's the giveaway

right there

with strategies like recording music jams

i pay for and guide toward affirmation

and making movies of the curriculum

with my little cam

to put on youtube

all of which is free actually

and like a website

it gives us something to

refer others to

info outside the page

as well as saying

who we are

-----

so i am here writing this

to begin

in earnest

and directly

this work

i may have some time left to gather

materials to be fairly sustainable

to manage some integrity

with the idea of material responsibility

but i don't use much

and i could eat a lot less

if i weren't abusing myself at work

and i don't need much

a van, maybe converted to french fries

maybe a solar panel

a good battery

-----

and starting right now

with commitment

offering service

to this vision

this work and play

remembering to laugh

one day at a time

one moment

one encounter at a time

may it serve the greatest good

Encinitas loop

Sometimes it's like being in a movie.

It's a little before 6 a m, and I'm a half hour from home, driving up I-5 early to to beat the LA rush hour on my way north. I'm chanting the kototama 50 sounds as I occasionally do behind the wheel, one sound per breath. I am intoning PO-, when I hear a loud POP! I calmly think to myself, hmmm, if I had to guess I'd say I just blew out my left front tire. I notice the right lane is up against a cement barricade, but I ease over anyway. As I'm slowing down, the wall ends and a space opens up to pull over, just as my rim is really starting to clunk on the last shreds of tire. And I arrive at a safe little cove just out of traffic flow.

Oddly, I'm between exits in Encinitas, the new-agey beach town, where Rich, the accordian player, lives--and where I keep thinking I might end up moving. I feel quite safe. I-5 is rough--a very busy freeway, where traffic is now really picking up--but all things considered, this is about the best spot on the whole 650-mile route that I could have broken down.

No way I am changing the driver's side tire with two feet between me and 75 mph traffic flying by, so my new AAA membership gets the call. Nice guy arrives in 20 minutes, tows me into Encinitas to put the donut on. He recommends a Discount Tire shop in town, so I hobble over. It's 6:55 and the shop doesn't open until 8. So I look around for signs of civilization--there's gotta be some kinda deli around here. Across the lot beacons the perfect red neon sign at the perfect moment. And the sign says: French Pastry Cafe



I amble over to fnd an open door, 5 miutes before their scheduled 7 a m time, and I am greeted by a welcoming shop owner. Breakfast croissant omelet, and for sure: a good day for a coffee indulgence. Both are great, as is the inch-thick soft-baked cranberry cookie I follow up with. So I'm journaling away, with this cute cafe all to myself, over easily the best coffee in San Diego. And I start to think--maybe I really am being called to move up here to this part of the city. Like maybe the perfect woman for me lives here. I put a period on the sentence in the journal, and on cue the door opens.

The second customer of the day is a beautiful blond woman, who turns out to be French. She has two kids in tow, one of whom is in a pink dress with a tiara. There is no ring on the left hand. She sits at the next table over, and I am surprised that something actually comes to mind to say in real time. (Usually it's about an hour later.) So I ask her where her pink dress is. And she says it'll come out in two weeks when it's her own birthday. Which leads to other conversation, birthday wishes, and a sweet goodbye wave.

And then the cinematographer really steps up. As she exits the door, the lens shifts to a longer focus. And behind her another family has sat down and are divying up a cake. It's a father and his three kids. Sure looks a lot like Phil Mickelson, #2 pro golfer in the world the last decade. And as I'm thinking, nah, probably just one of those many lookalike moments. But the cafe owner asks about their summer travels, and the family has been all over the states and England, which is the pro golfing tour. And dude sounds just like Mickelson, and the kids are all blonde, and he's even wearing his trademark black cap. And it begins to dawn on me it's definitely the Mickelsons I'm sharing the cafe with.

Pretty cool, but what is coolest is that he is obviously the nice guy everyone says he is. He's doting on his daughters, offering educational insights, listening to them, and thoroughly enjoying being Dad. He's 40 now, and as I watch him downing his morning cake, I feel privy to just why he's never quite achieved the V-shape athletic form!

It's 8 a m, and I head back across the lot to bring the car in. It's gonna need four tires, and they can do it in half an hour, so cool. I start walking around the rest of the strip mall, and I realize I've actually been here in this center before. Rich took me out to a Souplantation lunch here a couple weeks back after a rehearsal. After walking past that establishment, the morning's coup de gras comes into view, Trader Joe's Encinitas store. So I go in and introduce myself. They say I can hang out in the break room if I want until the tires are fixed, but I pass on that, and take off--but not before mentioning I might be up for a transfer at some point!

DA GARDEN!

Here's the season's first Hopi blue corn, harvested from the big stalk in the middle of the garden last week.
After fearful initial analysis, the seed looks quite viable maturity-wise, with some lovely purple colorings.



The rest of the garden, pictured here as of about two weeks ago, continues to thrive.



It's a rather riotous mess, with an odd pepper plant from the landlord getting ready to produce, a couple Thai Siam Queen basil plants peeking through the squashes, a transplanted pea plant from my niece's class project, and the like.



Organic yellow crookneck squashes are quite a hit, with several small fruits coming visible this week, and one or two about ready to harvest!



Happy September harvests!