i was reading a friend's blog
enjoying its depth of communication
i got up from my makeshift desk
and burst into tears
i like crying
haven't done it as much as i'd like
i forgot
it has the power to clarify things
feelings and needs
-----
it was a blog about my friend's recent
Occupy experience
i was touched by the sensitivity expressed
in the public mourning
and also by
the expression of empathy from the cops
for the movement
they must have received some empathy
here as well for their position
that is in fact exactly what they expressed
how amazing is a single moment of reconciliation
witnessing our shared humanity
across these disguises
-----
and what are the costumes for?
for making money
for having an acceptable role in society
and such nonsense
ironic that when we let the charade drop
we find the real community
which is what i am looking for
and is all i have ever looked for
to do something meaningful
with true friends
-----
in regards to my crying fit
it was not about the mourning specifically
neither the cops nor community
it was about my day
how sore my shoulder is
how stressed and shut down my body and soul
after too much work at a job
and not enough recognition
no it's not even that
-----
it was a gestalt which cried me:
the sudden stark contrast
between the quality of life lived
chasing a lonely dollar
how numb I become even in two days
under fluorescent lighting and such
so that I can't even discern
whether I need to sleep or eat
compared to this immediate experience
the aliveness of feeling
when each habitable moment
is lived outdoors
in the company of soulmates
doing what we are meant to do
which is:
being together
and meanwhile getting real stuff done
like practicing such empathy
-----
the tears brought me back to life
and i stumbled my sore body down to Yale Park
which i suddenly found completely open
and laid down on the grass
near a circle of acquaintances
had a brief conversation
with a man whose wisdom i enjoyed
a loner like myself stumbling upon community
who i understand is familiar with the street
his eyes and words reflecting
a quality of aliveness i've known
living in a street community
last year near a beach
-----
now home to cook this curried veggie tofu
and potatoes
reminding myself to be less shy about inviting
others to share food
as i plan an evening of brainstorming
this economic transition
to a situation i may use my yang energies
not use them up
lifting five tons before breakfast
but rather commit to their true nature
for as this life is freely given
it is for me to now extend
this generosity of giving
a generativity that arises
not from a priority of doing
but through commitment
to being
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
End the Fed
Awesome times.
Last night was definitely the most satisfying of social actions I've ever been involved in. That area at the edge of Yale Park is hallowed ground now, a place where free speech took a stand.
And a cooperative, nonviolent stand at that. That's what made it both so effective and so satisfying. It was the most unselfconscious I've ever felt, the most unambiguous about my own values. For there we were, a good hundred of us who cared enough...to do...who knew what?
Show up.
-----
I am back at the cafe marveling at this still. It really came back to me today, as dusk again approaches. Most of the day was spent uploading the video of the UN prof's intro to the group's meeting. Brilliant framing of what was going on, and how we were dealing with it--by reasserting our rights to gather peaceably, speak freely, and associate with who we liked.
It was also a powerful teaching. One of the things I am coming to understand is that one's actions need not be grand, just clear. An approach of curiosity and nonviolence greatly supports clarity.
So here I am back at the cafe across the street, having tea, nurturing myself today. Been getting back to personal matters, celebrating progress with some health concerns. Feeling motivated toward creating new relationships with people, meeting women, joining meetup groups to speak Spanish or German, that kind of stuff. Felt great to clean the house and cook a meal.
Amidst the relaxing and digesting of recent social events, I am gathering focus to do a little more social action. It's a good time to hold up signs, right? Well then, another teachable moment.
-----
Much of the Occupy movement has left strategic questions open. This has been very useful in offering inclusion to anyone wishing to participate. The parameters have 1) an implied question of "what is the relationship between the 99% and the 1%, whose income differential appears to us to have created a separation of value systems (and behavioral norms) between the two groups; and 2) participation in deep democracy such as consensus process.
The power of these two organizing principles has become clear.
I see attempts by many now to direct strategic efforts in specific external directions. There is talk of tax changes, creating jobs, vote for this person, etc. I saw a useful sign yesterday (and again today): Repeal Glass-Stiegel. I want to strike at the root, or at least one of them. To explain monarchical structures and corruptions of reality spanning centuries is too much. But fundamental structural change is essential.
I know it bores people to discuss banking, it generally bores me. But people are realizing the entire money system is corrupt, and the banks specifically. I'm not sure that most put together the essential distinction in the character of society created by debt-based money, versus honest money. Debt-based money is created by private Central Banks, and have been publicly identified as ruthlessly destructive social forces by everyone from Jefferson and Franklin to Lincoln and Jackson. Honest money is created by the people and for the people by way of representative government.
Debt-based institutions love war, for it generates for them abundant wealth from every angle. Honest money generates abundance.
End wars.
End the Fed.
Last night was definitely the most satisfying of social actions I've ever been involved in. That area at the edge of Yale Park is hallowed ground now, a place where free speech took a stand.
And a cooperative, nonviolent stand at that. That's what made it both so effective and so satisfying. It was the most unselfconscious I've ever felt, the most unambiguous about my own values. For there we were, a good hundred of us who cared enough...to do...who knew what?
Show up.
-----
I am back at the cafe marveling at this still. It really came back to me today, as dusk again approaches. Most of the day was spent uploading the video of the UN prof's intro to the group's meeting. Brilliant framing of what was going on, and how we were dealing with it--by reasserting our rights to gather peaceably, speak freely, and associate with who we liked.
It was also a powerful teaching. One of the things I am coming to understand is that one's actions need not be grand, just clear. An approach of curiosity and nonviolence greatly supports clarity.
So here I am back at the cafe across the street, having tea, nurturing myself today. Been getting back to personal matters, celebrating progress with some health concerns. Feeling motivated toward creating new relationships with people, meeting women, joining meetup groups to speak Spanish or German, that kind of stuff. Felt great to clean the house and cook a meal.
Amidst the relaxing and digesting of recent social events, I am gathering focus to do a little more social action. It's a good time to hold up signs, right? Well then, another teachable moment.
-----
Much of the Occupy movement has left strategic questions open. This has been very useful in offering inclusion to anyone wishing to participate. The parameters have 1) an implied question of "what is the relationship between the 99% and the 1%, whose income differential appears to us to have created a separation of value systems (and behavioral norms) between the two groups; and 2) participation in deep democracy such as consensus process.
The power of these two organizing principles has become clear.
I see attempts by many now to direct strategic efforts in specific external directions. There is talk of tax changes, creating jobs, vote for this person, etc. I saw a useful sign yesterday (and again today): Repeal Glass-Stiegel. I want to strike at the root, or at least one of them. To explain monarchical structures and corruptions of reality spanning centuries is too much. But fundamental structural change is essential.
I know it bores people to discuss banking, it generally bores me. But people are realizing the entire money system is corrupt, and the banks specifically. I'm not sure that most put together the essential distinction in the character of society created by debt-based money, versus honest money. Debt-based money is created by private Central Banks, and have been publicly identified as ruthlessly destructive social forces by everyone from Jefferson and Franklin to Lincoln and Jackson. Honest money is created by the people and for the people by way of representative government.
Debt-based institutions love war, for it generates for them abundant wealth from every angle. Honest money generates abundance.
End wars.
End the Fed.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
protest
“The state can’t give you free speech, and the state can’t take it away. You’re born with it, like your eyes, like your ears. Freedom is something you assume, then you wait for someone to try to take it away. The degree to which you resist is the degree to which you are free. – Utah Phillips
On a cool, drizzly evening, 100+ protesters were ordered out of Yale Park and off UNM grounds by university police, shortly after beginning their 6 pm general assembly meeting. The group was told that they no longer had a permit to assemble at UNM, and so would have to leave. The group requested permission for a five-minute meeting.
While the large group met, a few of us directed our attention toward the police. I explained to the directing officer my understanding that the permit was for the kitchen and overnight camp--neither of which were in evidence--and that we were simply exercising our first amendment rights to free speech and assembly, well before the university's curfew. (See local article from early October for context here: http://www.dailylobo.com/index.php/article/2011/10/protesters_meet_with_schmidly_rep).
The officer said I would need to take this point up with the university. He simply had orders that the Occupy group was no longer to be permitted on campus.
The group moved toward the sidewalk, chanting "Shame on UNM police!" and "This is what a police state looks like!" The group then moved across the street where they had permission from a nearby business owner to assemble. I remained on campus, took a walk around Yale Park, and talked with a couple of other people about the permit issue, while one remaining protester was arrested.
I wondered why 30 people were willing to be arrested the night before in violation of public curfew, while tonight with basic inalienable rights being trampled there was only one. Likely there are two different issues at play here--first amendment rights, and perhaps the broader concern of occupying public space by sleeping outdoors in it. (See an interesting and hopeful confluence of these issues here: http://www.occupy-oc.org/tears-stream-as-city-council-unanimously-agrees-occupy-tents-are-a-form-of-speech/#.TqigT-HMrYt.facebook)
I seriously weighed getting arrested also. A woman from the Journal took down my name for a photo I was in, and I began to wonder about the choices one makes. How is it possible to distinguish altruism from egocentrism? I then decided to rejoin the group across the street.
The meeting was quite energetic, and despite the worsening weather, lasted over 90 minutes. I generally found myself on the edge of the gathering, with one eye on sentry toward police in the surrounding area. Consensus was eventually achieved, my understanding of which is to meet for assembly again tomorrow (Thursday) at 5 pm at Yale Park on UNM campus. Those who wish to stand for their first amendment rights (and risk arrest) may do so. The rest of the group will reconvene off-campus for general assembly, and further action including seeking a place to re-establish a 24/7 camp.
To a number of us, this was less clear than other initial proposals, but due to worsening rain and chill, it was consensed. In addition, there is some legal action being initiated by the ACLU, in regards to our first amendment rights being violated. There was also an encouraging report that some UNM professors will be gathering tomorrow at Yale Park during the day for teach-ins related to these current events.
I found it to be a stimulating evening, with substantial issues being publicly considered by a thoughtful and courageous group of people. Perhaps the current push-back will help to define clear intentions for the ongoing protest. I wonder how it would be if a large and diverse group of folks, young and old, showed up for tomorrow's gathering. A coat and hat are recommended. Will the middle class represent? How about some professors and prominent local personalities come experience democracy in action?
On a cool, drizzly evening, 100+ protesters were ordered out of Yale Park and off UNM grounds by university police, shortly after beginning their 6 pm general assembly meeting. The group was told that they no longer had a permit to assemble at UNM, and so would have to leave. The group requested permission for a five-minute meeting.
While the large group met, a few of us directed our attention toward the police. I explained to the directing officer my understanding that the permit was for the kitchen and overnight camp--neither of which were in evidence--and that we were simply exercising our first amendment rights to free speech and assembly, well before the university's curfew. (See local article from early October for context here: http://www.dailylobo.com/index.php/article/2011/10/protesters_meet_with_schmidly_rep).
The officer said I would need to take this point up with the university. He simply had orders that the Occupy group was no longer to be permitted on campus.
The group moved toward the sidewalk, chanting "Shame on UNM police!" and "This is what a police state looks like!" The group then moved across the street where they had permission from a nearby business owner to assemble. I remained on campus, took a walk around Yale Park, and talked with a couple of other people about the permit issue, while one remaining protester was arrested.
I wondered why 30 people were willing to be arrested the night before in violation of public curfew, while tonight with basic inalienable rights being trampled there was only one. Likely there are two different issues at play here--first amendment rights, and perhaps the broader concern of occupying public space by sleeping outdoors in it. (See an interesting and hopeful confluence of these issues here: http://www.occupy-oc.org/tears-stream-as-city-council-unanimously-agrees-occupy-tents-are-a-form-of-speech/#.TqigT-HMrYt.facebook)
I seriously weighed getting arrested also. A woman from the Journal took down my name for a photo I was in, and I began to wonder about the choices one makes. How is it possible to distinguish altruism from egocentrism? I then decided to rejoin the group across the street.
The meeting was quite energetic, and despite the worsening weather, lasted over 90 minutes. I generally found myself on the edge of the gathering, with one eye on sentry toward police in the surrounding area. Consensus was eventually achieved, my understanding of which is to meet for assembly again tomorrow (Thursday) at 5 pm at Yale Park on UNM campus. Those who wish to stand for their first amendment rights (and risk arrest) may do so. The rest of the group will reconvene off-campus for general assembly, and further action including seeking a place to re-establish a 24/7 camp.
To a number of us, this was less clear than other initial proposals, but due to worsening rain and chill, it was consensed. In addition, there is some legal action being initiated by the ACLU, in regards to our first amendment rights being violated. There was also an encouraging report that some UNM professors will be gathering tomorrow at Yale Park during the day for teach-ins related to these current events.
I found it to be a stimulating evening, with substantial issues being publicly considered by a thoughtful and courageous group of people. Perhaps the current push-back will help to define clear intentions for the ongoing protest. I wonder how it would be if a large and diverse group of folks, young and old, showed up for tomorrow's gathering. A coat and hat are recommended. Will the middle class represent? How about some professors and prominent local personalities come experience democracy in action?
Friday, October 21, 2011
mission statement
what to write?
just post yesterday's interesting analysis of Occupy? an as-yet-unsent love note? describe my tri-city lifestyle plans? my bizarre healing crises? plans to travel abroad in early Spring?
how about this:
My commitment is to express the highest vibrational frequencies I can access, primarily focusing on Love and Joy, in service of inclusive and collective abundance. My prayer is for the greatest benevolence to be served.
Resources to contribute include: uplifting music, compassionate presence, communication support, education, permaculture gardens, sound meditation; care for children, elders, animals, and land; a general enjoyment of labor; a commitment to opening my heart to love and community belonging; and a passionate openness to requests for whatever else I may share.
just post yesterday's interesting analysis of Occupy? an as-yet-unsent love note? describe my tri-city lifestyle plans? my bizarre healing crises? plans to travel abroad in early Spring?
how about this:
My commitment is to express the highest vibrational frequencies I can access, primarily focusing on Love and Joy, in service of inclusive and collective abundance. My prayer is for the greatest benevolence to be served.
Resources to contribute include: uplifting music, compassionate presence, communication support, education, permaculture gardens, sound meditation; care for children, elders, animals, and land; a general enjoyment of labor; a commitment to opening my heart to love and community belonging; and a passionate openness to requests for whatever else I may share.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
it's called opening the heart
There is love in the world. In OB, it is THC-driven to a great degree. But I like it anyway. THC-wise, I just like very small doses myself. The remembrance of love, though, that is useful whatever the means. That's what I think.
I have crushes on eleven women right, as far as I can count. They live everywhere, and none of them are realistic in the slightest. Two are just too young, two I don't really know (and are too young), two dancers, a lesbian couple (who would be too young anyway), okay that makes eight but anyway...
I don't believe in realism. The only life I care about anymore is the dream world. The worlds of imagination and intention.
Oh yeah, and hugs.
-----
I like long lazy hugs with stoner gals. I like walking with new acquaintances, or old friends, 'cuz that's just what you do there. Seeing what people are into, talking about transformation as it arises, drinking coffee, and visiting the water. That's OB.
Farmers' market takes over Wednesdays, and tastings rule the day. I ended up unintentionally buying way too much. But it was fun.
Music was good, good for me to play at all again. Remember a couple inspirations. Being inside so much was odd, with a goofy landlady deal going on, and rust being sanded off of railings everywhere all day.
But 50 feet to the steps down to the cliffs, and paths to watch the ocean's sacred moonlit dances with the rocks!
I saw a friend from back when, who owns no shoes and still sleeps on the pier. I made new friends at the coffee shop, and hung with an old one from there too. I unexpectedly saw the young lady I was so in love with last year. It was sweet and unstressful, but I do worry about her health...
I could go on.
-----
It was community for a few days. I don't know if I could afford it out there. I'm already so done with TJs. But I really mean affording the luxuriousness of the lifestyle. I would inevitably smoke too much again, and get all goofed up. Try and improvise. See if I can not burn through my road stake so fast.
I know my work too, or at least I think I do. Why is it so hard to manifest? Is it possible that simply belonging to community is the greatest contribution I can make?
Probably so. It's a good start.
I have crushes on eleven women right, as far as I can count. They live everywhere, and none of them are realistic in the slightest. Two are just too young, two I don't really know (and are too young), two dancers, a lesbian couple (who would be too young anyway), okay that makes eight but anyway...
I don't believe in realism. The only life I care about anymore is the dream world. The worlds of imagination and intention.
Oh yeah, and hugs.
-----
I like long lazy hugs with stoner gals. I like walking with new acquaintances, or old friends, 'cuz that's just what you do there. Seeing what people are into, talking about transformation as it arises, drinking coffee, and visiting the water. That's OB.
Farmers' market takes over Wednesdays, and tastings rule the day. I ended up unintentionally buying way too much. But it was fun.
Music was good, good for me to play at all again. Remember a couple inspirations. Being inside so much was odd, with a goofy landlady deal going on, and rust being sanded off of railings everywhere all day.
But 50 feet to the steps down to the cliffs, and paths to watch the ocean's sacred moonlit dances with the rocks!
I saw a friend from back when, who owns no shoes and still sleeps on the pier. I made new friends at the coffee shop, and hung with an old one from there too. I unexpectedly saw the young lady I was so in love with last year. It was sweet and unstressful, but I do worry about her health...
I could go on.
-----
It was community for a few days. I don't know if I could afford it out there. I'm already so done with TJs. But I really mean affording the luxuriousness of the lifestyle. I would inevitably smoke too much again, and get all goofed up. Try and improvise. See if I can not burn through my road stake so fast.
I know my work too, or at least I think I do. Why is it so hard to manifest? Is it possible that simply belonging to community is the greatest contribution I can make?
Probably so. It's a good start.
Friday, October 14, 2011
midnight prayer
i love the ocean and it is good to be with it
the medicine smoked here is painful for me
in these quantities of daily use
i become dull and less capable on the surface
while my natural nervous yang emotional abundance
goes inside so I don't sleep well
-----
i even lose the prayer path
it comes around again as i intensify my focus
often with renewed gratitude and gift
but there is the moment of delay
when my head must detoxify
and the universe feels like such a lonely place
-----
may this vulnerability
open my heart
oddly closed these last months
so that it may unfurl
amidst contribution
to a community
in which it may belong
gifting this nervous energy
its work
of devotion
Friday, October 7, 2011
urban existence
each week
now offers a solid block of 90 hours
free from work
while my 4-day block of work
spans 78 hours
i am resting a great deal
dissipating a bit too much
while i watch my head readjust
to the idea that the primary focus of life
is not to work
but rather
to live
-----
i am curious
will my spirit and body
come back into balance
without one pushing the other mercilessly
and the other no doubt filling with resentment
will this rebellious chi
return to the fold
and give me something to work with
on these long long weekends
a hobby even
a yoga class?
-----
or will i just become another pale burque ghost
shuttered in his basement all winter
saggy of skin
paranoid of the light of day
where too long overworked
the fire is found retired
to burn only in the dark of nothingness
leaving me chronically ill and dorkish
with vegan dyspepsia
certainly frightened
of any and all relationships
now offers a solid block of 90 hours
free from work
while my 4-day block of work
spans 78 hours
i am resting a great deal
dissipating a bit too much
while i watch my head readjust
to the idea that the primary focus of life
is not to work
but rather
to live
-----
i am curious
will my spirit and body
come back into balance
without one pushing the other mercilessly
and the other no doubt filling with resentment
will this rebellious chi
return to the fold
and give me something to work with
on these long long weekends
a hobby even
a yoga class?
-----
or will i just become another pale burque ghost
shuttered in his basement all winter
saggy of skin
paranoid of the light of day
where too long overworked
the fire is found retired
to burn only in the dark of nothingness
leaving me chronically ill and dorkish
with vegan dyspepsia
certainly frightened
of any and all relationships
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
new economy
ah yes
the blog
is there a revolution going on
i moved back to the city
so i get to see it today
-----
every day's a miracle
it's the new post-Jekyll Island economy:
Turtle Island Economics
contribution
play, love, fun
mutuality, healing, barter, chi, giveaway, labor, growing, trade
free education, shared presence, yoga in the park
-----
an infinite number
of micro-economies make up
the abundance that is life
gathering fruit, nuts, pickling vegetables, gardening, ritual, bliss sharing, tea in public places, gifting, picnicking, kombucha
what could you possibly need
-----
a bucket of water once in a while
tolerable part-time work with abundant time off, a cheap place to crash, room-and-board trades, friends, an orientation to serve others, good vibes, green grass to walk on, a stove to cook with
a bike
maximizing flow experience, with opportunities to love in the ten thousand ways that are the way of my Beloved
Tao
the blog
is there a revolution going on
i moved back to the city
so i get to see it today
-----
every day's a miracle
it's the new post-Jekyll Island economy:
Turtle Island Economics
contribution
play, love, fun
mutuality, healing, barter, chi, giveaway, labor, growing, trade
free education, shared presence, yoga in the park
-----
an infinite number
of micro-economies make up
the abundance that is life
gathering fruit, nuts, pickling vegetables, gardening, ritual, bliss sharing, tea in public places, gifting, picnicking, kombucha
what could you possibly need
-----
a bucket of water once in a while
tolerable part-time work with abundant time off, a cheap place to crash, room-and-board trades, friends, an orientation to serve others, good vibes, green grass to walk on, a stove to cook with
a bike
maximizing flow experience, with opportunities to love in the ten thousand ways that are the way of my Beloved
Tao
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