Pedaling Between the Worlds

It seems that somehow my more interesting posts do attract more hits. I don't know how this magic hand of electronic media works. But it probably won't help me here, writing from the hypomanic dregs of my blissful yet degraded life. Aiming at zero hits on this one!

I try and I try, but I overshoot every mark. My back in torn up from work, but I will not report it, for I cannot stomach the idiocy. Nor will I dissuade myself from traveling to the beach, despite having just enough money for gas to get there, which might be better spent on chiropractic and rolfing. I don't know what I am doing, but I know what I am not doing. I have ultimately always found guidance in my distrust of the systemic personally-disempowering corruption of my society.

I'm heading to the beach.

Fukushima radiation spreads, the contaminated water probably not overwhelming the ecosystem of the west coast just yet. The saboteurs of nuclear power plants are those needing the most healing, for their personality orientations have been twisted most violently. Their suffering is greatest, as their disconnection from True Self is incomprehensible. The transformational technologies humans need now, on both inner and outer planes, are nothing short of all-in miracle-magic paradigm-or-bust ARRIVAL.

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I am already transitioning, it is now just a question of which window I leap through the worlds, from the crumbling edifice of kanagi civilization.

According to my head, which would really like that ten-grand-in-the-bank-to-fall-back-on, january is the plan. My spirit and body are telling me otherwise. My back injury is of a severity that tells me I have already overstayed my best interests in the kanagi world. My spirit is saying that a transition needs to happen during this 2012 grand opening to the futonolito civilization, whose real-time synchronicities-in-action occur every day, and whose crises call for clear commitment in order to address! The discontinuity of calendrical domains makes my decision a tad more stark than is comfortable. But hey, that is what it takes for me to make a decision after all: moral clarity.

The kicker is how money, as we know it, will be wiped away by the time any of us imagine we might accrue any. There is no more accrual in the corrupt old system, that is obvious! Meanwhile new systems of honest, above-board mutually-supportive exchanges offer surprising abundance. Do I leap at the first farming possibility and have my back heal? May I take that much more of a lead role, in learning, modeling, and trusting the Life-based contribution-exchanges which provide true wealth... before the panic, before some con job that a new globally manipulated currency is needed sets in?

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The system is broken.

Let it be so long as it remains rooted in genocidal violence, slavery, homelessness, sexual abuse, psychological manipulation, and destruction of the creative human soul. Tell the old guard: the mission of the second civilization is complete, and its results are being revealed for all to see.

Its time, the way of separation AIUEO, is finished. We are cutting out the middleman! AIEOU: Tell those Japanese kids their alphabet just changed, and their families need no longer be slaves to nuclear blackmail.

I worry about posting such manic rants as this, with its obscure kototama references. What does the alphabet have to do with the price of tea in China? But what the hell: it's my blog!

The blue sky calls. I am responding, here and now, with my back and self-care and money work and wild mind and dharma path, all at once. Pedaling as fast as I can, gathering a couple medicines as I fly by, between these worlds. 

this morning i awoke and did some sound meditation
i then took some medicines including mycellium extract
took a bike ride toward the baking company
noticed what a beautiful day it was and shouted about it
was inspired to stay on the bike path and in the beauty a while longer
which led me to the front of pinon fast print
i walked in and found the living treasure there
told him i had been reading the takeuti documents this morning
and so i thought to just drop in
he said he was just working on my picture
and i actually did think hmm did i give him a photo recently
even though i'd seen him about once in the last decade
it was from the natural medicine book of some 25 years ago

my path is clear

conversation

could be time for an old-fashioned rant
why not

my saner edited attempts at explaining this medicine
unpublishable:

who was charged with this task of leading the people of the earth
through the material-scientific civilization of the last 10000 years

and how was this done if not by separating this from that phenomena
these people from those

ultimately burying our deepest capacities in the dark
in order to set up the idiotic double-blind experiment

of non-awareness

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now the time is gone
and here we are

attempting with utmost compassion and commitment
to bring to light all of the shadows

and find our displaced selves
therein

now tell me
what is this uranium

and when do we hit the road and sky
ah one more moment here in your green leafy companion

ship

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tell them they are too late
they will not bury the truth of their expired contract

no matter how many genocides
or hemispheres destroyed

in this fullness of time
victory is ours

by the goodness of life itself
within us and without

conversing

diffusion

I have a hard time making decisions these days. It is an issue that has come and gone in my life--pretty big these days. The trouble is that I have little cognitive clarity. I don't know if it is exacerbated being back up here in the thin air of Santa Fe. I can hardly enunciate a clear thought anymore.

I think about Fukushima. It has spewed toxic radiation into the air and water for over a year now. There are reports of a threat of massive new releases, which could destroy massive swaths of the Earth's ecozones. Yet, no one is responding with any urgency--not the UN, not the US, not even Japan.

No one cares to talk about it, for it is just more bad news at best and paranoia at worst. People prefer the beneficial effects of a positive mindset. But at some point, don't we have to ask why we are bothering with protests and politics, if the world won't even respond to a level-7 nuclear disaster?

Nicaragua, San Diego, Hawaii, British Columbia, Korea? Do I just continue plans to head somewhere, and not think about radiological matters? Or is being connected to the Pacific Ocean something to consider in making one's plans? I just have a bad feeling about it.

I don't much care for the States anymore. The level of conversation bores me, for no one understands righteous suffering. Few get what solidarity means. Few care to face challenges in order to overcome them. We are all capitalists here, in it for ourselves and maybe offspring.

Internally, I feel I have so little to offer the world anymore. With my back wrenched, even my plans to farm abroad become a little more tenuous. I believe I will be able to fully recover--as I have many times before--from such injuries. We will see.

I try to keep a positive mindset, but lately it's tough. Prayer still finds its way to and from Creator. I don't know how to apply it to any task at hand, for it only finds power in my utter emptiness and despair. Yet it restores my breath, and reminds me of lightness in Life. Maybe this conversation is all I can ask for.

It is, in any case, all I have.  

Left, Right and Centered

Maybe it's good that Occupy is going on, maybe even better that some Libertarians are reclaiming the space of the Republic from the corporate sham it has been for a long time. Something tells me neither is yet the final word on the revolution.

I can only stomach so much of the Libertarian point of view, when it comes down to God and guns and such. Was the morality really that great before 1871 anyway, when Indians were being slaughtered, slavery was in full swing, and women were second class citizens? If that's what precious sovereignty leads to, then Americans probably didn't deserve it to begin with.

As for Occupy, it still feels like it was sponsored from the start by whoever tipped Amy Goodman off to the initial coverage. Remember the initial gathering in NYC, when about two dozen people camped in Zuccotti Park? How precisely did Amy know it was going to become the grand leftist movement it has since become? I hear George Soros and others are in on the funding, whatever that means. Mostly, it simply lacks the gravitas I personally feel called by--a quality of suffering which generates global compassion.

I've had some nice moments around Occupy, observing conflicts with police, with obvious denial of free speech and assembly rights. Perhaps it is such very struggles that show us who we are. In the fire of conflicts, we find our true situation, our commitments, and thus our solidarity. Until then, I wait impatiently, while the corporate wars and mind-numbing propaganda and violent systems of injustice continue with the support of my tax dollars.

One way or the other, none of this will stand much longer.

It is also true that I now live in an obligatorily political world. There is no getting away from the global conspiracy or the threat to Life that it creates every day it remains in place. There is no sanctuary anymore, at least in America: to be here and try to live a normal life is to be complicit.This creates a stress that is difficult to describe.

May it be used creatively, to generate a new and more caring world!

Somehow, I must still choose Love here and now, no matter the external circumstances. No matter the heart-closing influences of dirty money, I work to keep my heart open. No matter the evil, I seek to love my enemy. I serve the cosmic Benevolence, in the real time and space of need. I push forward to vibrate the paradigm shift into abundance.

Back in the USSA

The arrival of the weekend
amidst this quality of life
begs the question:

how upside down is it
when the corporate grocery job
is by far the best thing I have going?

I had some nice dances the other day
but then the beautiful women scatter
to the winds

leaving my singlehood status
at two years two months
and counting

The Earth has been calling me
for decades to do something
but i have never understood her words

and now with my country
firmly in the clutches of the fascists
i wonder if there is anything left to do

Where is my vision!

I have reached out for support
but have not heard back from the men's group
and my one friend in town doesn't return my calls

Maybe I'll head to the farm for some medicine
and likely weirdness.

-----

Home life has gotten slightly insane
with the housemate's sociopathic friend
hanging around all the time

whether the housemate's around or not:
hacking up trees, dissing people
and generally taking up space

I was going to have the needed chat this morning
but the toilet overflowed and sewage backed up into the tub
so that became the first order of the day

since handed off to the housemate
and more-or-less property manager

My new pants now need to be cleaned
so i am wearing shorts in the chilly weather
in order to get to the cafe here

where i can use the facilities
wonder if the laundry will become available

and consider getting over to DMV so i can wait in line
to pay the government to re-register my car

and get a new ID-chipped driver's license
since my old one expires this week

With money running low i'm not sure I can afford it
until i get paid on thursday
whereupon I can also pay for mandatory car insurance

as well as back taxes owed to the IRS
for cashing out my retirement a couple years back
so i could eat

You think there might be an exemption for that.

-----

The social contract here runs very thin now

I wouldn't mind paying a legit government
a fee for this or that service

but the debt-based money system
has engendered such massive criminality
at the very top

that paying anything to the very purveyors
of war throughout the Earth

and massive incarceration of nonviolent offenders
here at home

feels for this nazi descendant
particularly shameful

One day americans will argue "we didn't know"
yet the world will simply turn away

in disgust.

the Real

Do Russians really read this blog?

It occurs to me today that the reason the powers of violence must act in secret is that they are rooted in abstraction, and as such have no direct business in the Life on the Earth. The original religions are based on sound, and as such maintains a direct connection to vibrational reality. The codifications, with fine intent, paved the way for abstraction to begin. From there, a secret doorway was found by those who were most jealous with the frustrations of their lives' encounters. And from their hidden place, they could enact their revenge.

There has been little to stand in the way of this most immature of moralities, once it was discovered that violence power could apparently smash out life itself, with no immediate penalty amidst the karmic workings of time. But of course the Universe has its own holistic power, through the long arc of time which indeed more than bends toward justice.

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The question I have recently asked is being answered. I have been concerned with my lack of political clarity, between Libertarianism, Progressivism, and New Age non-politic. I want progress, as it matches my heart's desire and that of those I most respect. I appreciate liberty, as it sets the record straight on the history and cause of things. But it is the new age approach, as unlikely as it seems, which again wins the day.

It is not enough for me to just say it is all a matter of vibratory quality, that is too diffuse an explanation. There must be courage to stand in the REAL, to answer each antagonism by discovering its complementary nature. It is a kind of empathy, minus indulgent softness.

Libertarians rightly point out we have lost the driving principle of personal sovereignty on which this country was based. But progressives rightly point out that this principle was unjustly limited to white male landowners, and as such was immoral. Progressives rightly point out that we need to move forward from the heart in empowering everyone equally. But libertarians rightly point out that progressive causes have more often than not fed into the plans of the hidden leaders manipulating events behind the scenes, which progressives have unwisely dismissed.

The truth is that the abstractions of the Declaration and Constitution, which libertarians point to, were progressive documents. Yet because they were abstractions, paved the way for subsequent manipulations, which have devolved society to this day. Both movements remain caught in their own projections.

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As I've aged, particularly in the last couple of years, my sense of competence is diminishing.

I am not a natural farmer--no green thumb, minimal intuition for the land, lacking upper body strength. I can throw boxes around or check people's groceries, but have no patience for the politics and self-flagellation of management. My teaching skills, relative to NVC or men's work or any other field I've engaged in, are erratic: I find I would almost always rather be with the living moment than dictate an agenda onto it. My acupuncture skills are long-faded, and were limited anyway; retooling in the field would cost tens of thousands of dollars. Music is no way to make a living, and my interest wanes in everything except the pot-infused polyrhythms, the lifestyle for which I cannot maintain due to subsequent mood swings.

In spiritual affairs, I have apparently not achieved much. My chi is not powerful, my chanting practice has not enlightened me, and I have not become an magnetic tantrika. I am lucky to remember to meditate in odd moments. I have not detached from the system, and feel guilt for continuing to pay taxes to an illegal warmongering government. I still use their phony money, and drive a noisy metallic petroleum-consuming beast, for which I will get a new license next week containing an ID chip.

A revolutionary friend in Nicaragua encourages me to fight for social benevolence. Yes, I marched in some parade the other day. But beyond this, and a few facebook emails to Congress-fools, I don't know what to do. How do I explain to my friend that the USA has been a corporation, and not a nation, since at least 1933? How do I explain the abstract manipulations of central banking which has consumed so much of the world in poverty and war and environmental degradation? I can't even explain it to my liberal American friends using English!

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Yet somehow amidst all this I feel tremendous lightness as of late. It may be the blue skies that have been seen over Santa Fe the last four days, the likes of which are reminiscent of the 1980's. Is it possible all the liens and suits against the corrupt pseudo-masters have de-funded the aerosol spraying campaign? I don't even believe in all that, but I have enough friends who do that I do watch the skies. And the last few days, the skies are different.

It could be I am learning, or more accurately re-learning, how to interact with the REAL.

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Nicaragua was great in that regard, with few overlays of any ideological nonsense to get lost in. 2 1/2 months of hard labor, illness, partying, insects, and trying to find a ride somewhere were honestly a muddle of experience. I realized yesterday that what was missing from the experience was that last month, in which I had planned to take a retreat for spiritual renewal. When insects interrupted that plan, I was left to fend for myself amidst subsequent massive food poisoning, diminished social capacities, and dwindling money. It was a tough month. But now I remember that my original plan was a good one. And I am just catching up on that stuff now.

By bicycling to work, or walking as I have today, I am strangely delighted. It is partly the endorphins, partly the sense of agency engendered, partly just the fresh air and growing trees. I eat fruit for breakfast in the yard, before heading to the cafe for tea. I am slightly tormented by the beautiful, unreachable, fertile females I encounter at work. There are moments of drudgery. I have lost a couple friends lately due to mutual impatience with intrusions upon one another's rhythms. Yet, I've grown closer to other friends.

There is fruit on the trees this year. And I feel grateful, actually joy, in little things like finding a bike rack.Yesterday I picked up a housemate's book on kundalini yoga. It spoke a great deal on breathing. I enjoyed how it reminded me of the simple clear teachings I have been exposed to over the years, through macrobiotics among other practices. And so I've begun again on this path. Maybe I had begun on it in the last few days, and this realization of it has found me.

I am confident that this is the path of growing strength and clarity. As I continue to shun drinking and other chi-dispersing activities, I feel a little stronger and more aware each day. The REAL has magnificent and quiet power to transform everything.

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I am here to shine a light on everything. If there is activism to be done, it is the documenting of the crime of war, in exposing it to the light of day. And the documenting of the failures of retributive justice, the mass imprisonment of Americans, particularly for victimless crimes.

I have no stomach for the abstraction of law, only the one great Universal law, which follows upon the one great Universal prescription of Yogic-chi Source-dwelling Life-breathing Now.

Bike Town

Oops

I was hoping to upload photos of my new place,  but didn't bring the cable. You'll have to take my word that it's a great little place. I haven't shared a house in a long time, so I've been curious how it'll be. So far, so good: the floor of my room is nice enough to be a dance floor; the yard is sweet and we're talking about gardens; I cooked lunch for myself today, and then biked to work...in eight minutes!

It is a quiet neighborhood, yet central to everything, and right near the multi-use rail trail. If I were still drinking, I could stumble home from Second Street. Disc golf is very near. Cafes abound, as well as bike trails, and hiking trails further afield.

And it is May! This is the best time of year, with six months of nice weather arriving, and then holidays. Trees are bursting forth with green. A full moon is Saturday. I hear there is a solar eclipse later this month. I've been connecting with friends again, and hope to do some full moon music-type celebrations this year.

My days off, aside from moving and settling in a bit, were spent in Burque. My camera battery died, so I got no photos of the groovy Occupy march from campus to downtown. It was weird marching under red and black flags. As Sandinista as I am, comfy white folks protesting the corporatist banksters still was an uncomfortable fit for me. "Hey hey ho ho, capitalism has got to go"...? I preferred the spirit of the Immigrant Rights folks, who we joined up with downtown to walk several more miles: they were marching for their very right to be here.

If this is the American Left, I'm not sure I am a Leftist anymore, but am I really a Libertarian? Or am I still more of a New Ager, looking to evolve civilization primarily energetically? How does any of this social change stuff really work?

I visited friends the rest of the weekend, and got some good nutrition in also. It was good to hang out in a grassy park a while, and get some cafe time in too. I feel my energy coming back again. It has been quite a push the last four weeks since getting back, to get a life together with very little money. Thanks to all my friends who have supported me in my return.

It is interesting to be starting another chapter, with a little yard to play in, and a bike-able town to ride around in. I feel optimistic that I will enjoy the coming months. With occasional trips to nearby farms, and a beach trip or two, I feel a nice quality of life evolving for me. I am near to a public pool for swimming, and the Rose Park for some morning Tai Chi. It is good to focus on the practicalities of things, saving up some money and getting stronger, as I explore how to best serve humanity moving forward. Hopefully, my work schedule will evolve to allow me some dancing time too!

With the beautiful May sunshine all about, it feels like I may be experiencing that Santa Fe enchantment I've been hearing about the last 30 years.

Off to work now...